This presentation presents a neurobiological framework for understanding the nature of upset encounters and discusses common mistakes that people make in attempting to diffuse them. The intervention begins with “checking oneself” and establishing good control of one’s nonverbal communication, including pace and tone of voice. From there, the session examines and practices some verbal responses that can reduce the temperature of intense encounters while avoid being confrontational. Topics •Common situations and communication traps •Looking at System 1 and 2 (Daniel Kahnemann) •Nonverbal de-escalation •Verbal de-escalation and a reflective toolbox •Setting limits